I started this blog post by asking the question if the arts have ruined romance? I wanted to just come out and say yes. Yes the things I read and see in books and movies have ruined romance. However, that would not be a complete answer and it would be totally biased. To help ground my over active imagination I posted the question on a few different social medias. What I found was that I might be a hopeless romantic. On the up side people did understand where I was coming from so I'm not that far gone. Some people answered that it's how you see romance, others said that it had no impact on them what so ever. Some people preferred the stories that were impossible to be real (fantasy romance) and others like the ones that could happen everyday (realistic romance).
I know that realistic romance and fantasy romance can not be the same. I have come to terms with the fact that there isn't going to be a magical lake house that connects me to a love in a different time but same place. I know that the referred magical lake house will not allow him to plant me a tree tonight and when I wake up in the morning it's full grown. Does it stop me from secretly wishing that it could happen. Nope. It has opened my eyes to look for the magic in real life. I understand that only in fantasy romance can you give up being a human to stay with the alien you fell in love with. Still that is one of my favorite romantic movies because in my head he loved her more than anything. Fantasy romance is not my problem. Since I know that it can not come true I have excepted that I will never have it. It's the realistic romance that really has made me crave the life I read about in books or watch in movies. Reading about someone sending a love interest flowers every Tuesday just because, or a first date where they pack up and leave the city for the day to go horse back riding, has ruined regular romance for me. Granted I hate flowers so sending them to me every week would most likely drive me mad. It's the notion that these things could happen that makes it so awe worthy. So I go back and I asked people what was a typical date for them? I received answers like movies, concerts, dinner and dancing, maybe a planned vacation here or there.. I'm really not trying to discredit these things. They are all fun and doing it with the love in your life makes it that much more enjoyable. It's when I compare those things to the things in realistic romance that I start to feel like it just can not compare.
There is an up side to all this. If you ever what to knock someone off their feet all you have to do is pick up a few romantic books, watch a few romantic movies and get some ideas. It doesn't even have to be the types of things that break your bank. I don't know any one who would object to being flow across the world on Saturday just to have a real Irish breakfast and be home home in time for work on Monday. It could happen but honestly who really has money like that? You could pick flowers in a field, cook dinner, have a bath waiting when your other half comes home. Those of us that are hopeless romantics get weak in the knees by grand gestures of love. We want to feel special. We want to feel like it's all about us and the love that we share with someone. If your love is someone that likes to indulge in the romantic arts then doing something book/movie worthy every once in a while will do wonders for your relationship. Even if the arts haven't ruined real romance for them the added effort will surely have it's reward. So to answer my question as unbiased as possible no the arts have not ruined romance. The arts have opened doors to the true possibility of romance. Those that choose not to follow the lead of what we read in books or see in movies are the real reason that real life romance does not compare.
Let's Discuss: Do you personally think that the arts have ruined the reality of romance. If you had to choose Fantasy Romance or Realistic Romance which do you think has a more negative impact. What would be the top romantic date to you? What would be a grand romantic gesture that would knock you off your feet?